front-lines:

BREAKING NEWS

    Hysteria has broken out as an unknown issue has caused for the Stark Network to go down in its entirety, affecting millions of people city and countrywide who currently use one of the many products and/or services provided by Stark Industries. A jarring message of ALIEN VIRUS DETECTED has been seen on all devices, hindering their use completely and rendering them useless. Representatives from the eponymous company were unwilling to comment, but a reliable source has stated that it’s “pandemonium” onsite with talks of an “unknown and aggressive” virus indiscriminately infiltrating hardware, software and firmware alike that are making the smartest of individuals scratch their heads in perplexity.

    S.H.I.E.L.D. is known to have implemented the infamous “repulsor tech” for its flight stabilisation system and while their Helicarrier was seen careening over Manhattan’s skyline in a downward spiral, it soon rectified its flight but not before giving half of the city a heart attack at the spectacle with terrifying throwbacks to the Battle of New York. This additionally begs the question: where is wunderkind Tony Stark? It’s been hours since the disastrous network-wide shut down has taken place but he’s nowhere to be seen with his P.A. additionally offering a “no comment” rebuttal. We headed over to Avengers Mansion to gain some answers to be confronted with the tall and proud gates having been left wide open for the public to venture closer, a prospect that some were all too willing to take advantage of.

     The following is a list of public services and infrastructure currently compromised within the Stark Network citywide until further notice:

  • Wifi
  • Satellites
  • Computers
  • Cellphones
  • Phone landlines
  • J.A.R.V.I.S. app
  • Deep Space Monitoring Station
  • Servers and Memory Banks for the Finance District
  • Clean Energy™ electricity distribution affecting certain homes and offices
  • Security Systems & Protocols (banks, The Cube and The Raft penitentiaries, stores, Avengers Mansion, S.H.I.E.L.D. and more affected)

    We will keep our vigilant readers updated on any changes to this story and hope that this is temporary. In the meantime, while we feel that there’s a marginal sense of inferiority from our tech representatives, if the issues persist we suggest switching to currently reliable Oscorp products and/or services, such as the OsBerry cellphone.

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